Balancing Emotion and Reason

Originally published in The Daily Sentinel on Friday, September 14, 2007.


This month marks a major anniversary – one that EVERYONE should remember! I’ll give you a hint: This is the 20th anniversary. Remember 1987?

Still not sure? I’ll give another clue: television. Now I’m SURE you remember! …No? Alright, this month marks the 20th anniversary of the “Star Trek: The Next Generation” premier.

Can you believe we’ve been watching the adventures of Captain Picard, Commander Riker, Lt. Commander Data, and the rest for 20 years?! (Of course, you realize that Captain Kirk, Commander Spock and Dr. McCoy are 40 years in the past….)

I admit it: I am a die-hard “Trekker.” I grew up on the original series and I waited with breathless anticipation for the debut of “Next Gen.” In some ways, the first show was terrific; disappointing in others. Over time, however, the Next Gen characters became much more “real” than the original series’ cast.

Data, in particular, fascinates me. He was in some ways the antithesis of Spock. Spock experienced emotions but suppressed them in favor of cold logic. Data was the epitome of cold logic – but his greatest desire was to be human.

Humans are a complex blending of cold logical reasoning and hot-blooded emotionalism. Letting either of them take over and chaos results. The second half of the 20th century was characterized by the philosophy of “if it feels good, do it.” But the rampant sexuality, drug abuse, and irresponsibility paved the way for two generations of broken homes, broken hearts and broken lives.

Doing what feels good can be great – but only if it’s done within the context of responsible reason. For some people, abusing others emotionally, verbally and physically feels good. But that certainly doesn’t make their behavior right! Others feel good when they take advantage of those less intelligent, less powerful, or less fortunate. Greed and oppression are emotions – but they aren’t good ones.

On the other hand, simple logic can also be dangerous. It seems logical to hurt someone else before that person hurts you. We can rationalize our behaviors to the point that care, concern and love are lost. When we lose our compassion, we have lost a core component of what God has given us.

I am convinced that God’s grace is experienced with both logic and emotion. Becoming a believer in Jesus Christ is both an intellectual acceptance of Jesus’ death, resurrection and return, and an emotional response to that acceptance. Paul says it well in Romans 8:

“Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace…

“Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”

The Holy Spirit witnesses to our spirits: “You belong to God!” WOW!! That’s powerful stuff! I can’t help but get emotional when I take time to really think about that. Thinking and feeling are both part of the Christian experience. So if you’ve “lost that lovin’ feeling” towards God, maybe you haven’t been thinking about him enough. If all you’re doing is thinking about God and not doing anything for God, then your emotional well has probably run dry.


So the lesson I’ve learned from Star Trek is this: Don’t try to be Spock. Don’t try to be Data. Just be the person God created YOU to be! Balanced between emotions and reason.

Going Away, Going Home

First published in The Daily Sentinel, Friday, Sept. 8, 2007

Two weeks ago, my wife and I took our oldest child to college. She’s attending a school in northeastern Ohio; it’s about three hours from home. Many people have asked me how I’m doing with her being so far away – and I think they’re expecting me to talk about how much I miss her and wish she were closer.

But I don’t miss her. Well… let me say it differently: I am not wasting away because she isn’t around us so much anymore. Please don’t get me wrong. I love my daughter deeply, but part of that love is recognizing that I must let her go. If I try to keep her closer to home, that’s not necessarily the best thing for her – and it’s not the best thing for me. Both of us need space if we are going to make this transition successful.

I haven’t seen the movie, “Failure to Launch,” but the idea of adult children living at home with their parents doesn’t seem funny to me. Thinking back 20-something years, I couldn’t imagine wanting to live at home with my parents! Now that I’m the parent, I don’t want my kids living with me when they become adults. That is the time for all of us to move on to the next stage in our lives.

There’s a whole world out there waiting for my daughter. College provides the bridge between adolescence and adulthood, and I want her to cross that bridge successfully. Right now, she plans on becoming an English teacher – maybe even a college English professor. But she also enjoys other interests, and I wouldn’t be surprised if during the next four years she takes up one of them as her vocational interest.

She is tremendously excited about her future, and I share that excitement. I’m thrilled for her, and I look forward to seeing how God will use her. So while I certainly miss her, I do not want her back with me fulltime.

Jesus and his disciples experienced this letting go process, too. After all their time together, the disciples did not want to see Jesus go away from them. In fact, the idea was so unimaginable, that they ignored all his prophecies regarding his pending death. At one point, Peter even told him point-blank: “This will never happen!”

Jesus wasn’t dissuaded by their arguments or their ignorance. He went through crucifixion and into resurrection. He told them, “I tell you the truth; It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.” (John 16:7-8 NIV)

The Counselor Jesus told them about is the Holy Spirit. Jesus went away in order for the Spirit to come. Jesus could only be present physically with a few people at a time; the Holy Spirit is will all Christians simultaneously. Thank God that Jesus went away and the Holy Spirit came – for it is the witness of the Holy Spirit with your spirit that makes you a child of God! (See Romans 8)

Going away was difficult for Jesus, but he did it so that we could all someday be going home to be with him forever. My daughter’s going away is less difficult because I look to Jesus’ example, and I know that we are all going home to a REAL home together.

Having said all this, I recognize that there are situations in which parents and children do need to live together as adults. And those who are in those situations, please do not take this as a criticism against you. There are degrees of independence and healthy separation that are unique to each of us. So I ask you to allow the going away to happen according to God’s best – knowing that God’s best will let you go home.

"Suess-eptible" Lessons on Handling Conflict

First published in The Daily Sentinel, Friday, Aug. 31, 2007


The River City Players present “Seussical—The Musical” this weekend. I play a supporting character, General Gengus Khan Schmitz, who runs a military school for young Who children. (That's NOT me in the photo ...)

General Schmitz is an interesting person. He’s full of military pomp and bluster. He likes to put on a grand marching show. But he doesn’t really know the darker side of war. For him, war is an opportunity for glory – until he encounters young Jojo.

Jojo is a new recruit to the school, just before the Butter War breaks out. Jojo objects to the war’s rationale: “Sir, This war makes no sense. Just one Think and you’d quit. Spreading butter up or down doesn’t matter one bit!”

Indeed, the whole reason to go to war on Who is to get rid of those “bibulous butter-side downers!” It doesn’t take much imagination to read through the lines of the play and recognize the moral point on display: war fought over insignificant differences between people is just plain stupid!

Indeed, most of our conflicts with one another are over small, insignificant things. When I provide pre-marital counseling to couples, we talk about how each of them puts toothpaste on a toothbrush. Are you one who flattens the tube from the bottom, or do you squeeze from the middle? Those who flatten from the bottom view middle-squeezers as illogical. (Don’t you know you can’t get the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube if you’ve squeezed out the middle?) Those who squeeze from the middle think bottom-flatteners are obsessive-compulsive over the tiniest details. (Don’t you have more important things to think about?)

Toothpaste. Butter. Oh, easily we can get our tempers tantrummed! So where do we draw the line between the silly and the serious? When does something become something worth fighting for?

We want the line to be easily drawn, but the dilemma is that there is no line to easily differentiate between the two. Even Jesus’ life offers us a range of responses. The most famous “fight scene” in the gospels is when Jesus cleared the Temple in Jerusalem of the moneychangers and sacrificial animal sellers. He overturned tables, dumped and broke cages holding the birds, goats, lambs, etc. He screamed, “My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers!” (Matt 21:12-13)

However, Jesus refused to fight when the soldiers came to arrest him in the middle of the night. Peter swung a sword at one of the men, cutting off the man’s ear. “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.” (Matt 26:52)

Jesus offered no resistance all the way to the cross. He accepted the mocking, the spitting, the beating, and the climactic agony of crucifixion.

So why did Jesus react strongly against the money changers but no one else? Perhaps because he knew there was no redeeming value to what was going on in the temple. Worship had become a matter of economic exchange where the Temple grew rich by exploiting the people. Jesus’ violence was a necessary correction to a system gone terribly wrong.

The violence done to Jesus, however, was God’s mysterious way of correcting an even more terrible wrong – humanity’s choice for sin. Jesus didn’t resist arrest and the cross because he knew it was the path to resurrection. Not just his resurrection – but the opportunity for resurrection for all of us!

Fighting over whether one butters bread up or down is silly. Dr. Seuss helps us recognize that we must be very careful choosing what causes are worth fighting for. Jesus Christ does more. He helps us recognize that some things are fought for in very surprising ways. I pray that you will be surprised by Jesus and take the right approach to handling all conflict that comes your way.

"Michael Vick Makes Me Sick"

First published in The Daily Sentinel, Friday Aug. 24, 2007

I caught a few minutes of a talk radio show this week. Its funny how at night, AM radio can do strange things. I somehow managed to get a station from Boston, and the topic of conversation was the Michael Vick dog fighting case.

Michael Vick is the star quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons. Over the last several years, the Falcons have become contenders in the NFL – largely because of Vick’s athleticism and leadership on the field. Now his off-the-field behavior has put him under the microscope. Reports of dog death by drowning, electrocution and other morbid, violent behaviors have surfaced in recent weeks. He entered a plea agreement with federal prosecutors for dog fighting conspiracy after his co-defendants agreed to testify against him.

“Michael Vick makes me sick!” said the caller. She couldn’t believe how cruel Vick’s behavior had been towards his dogs. In this caller’s opinion, Vick has done something unforgivable; he should be banned from every playing professional football again.

The call raised two moral questions in my mind. First, what are the boundaries of acceptable, or at least tolerable, behavior? Second, what are the consequences for those whose behavior crosses the line?

Vick clearly crossed the legal line, and the commonly accepted moral line. But what consequences should he face? Is what he’s done truly unforgivable?

The Bible tells us that there is only one unforgivable sin: “I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.” (Matthew 12:31-32 NIV)

Ever since Jesus said this, there’s been ongoing debate on what “blasphemy against the Holy Spirit” really is. But it would be very difficult to argue that what Vick did is blaspheming the Holy Spirit – however severe his cruelty against the animals, no matter how much money he won or lost betting on the dogs.

Sports columnist Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post recently wrote this about Vick:

If he says what arrogant athletes in trouble usually say, that this is behind him and it's time to move on, his penitence will be insufficient. He'd better take the approach, and publicly, that his god isn't finished with him yet and there's a better man at the end of this regrettable process than at the beginning. Vick, clearly a man used to taking what he wants without fear of consequence, had better start begging quite literally for mercy and forgiveness. In public. Every chance he gets.

Sounds to me like Wilbon wants Vick to have a “born-again” experience. Or at least to put on a “born-again” act. When Christians talk about being “born again,” they are describing the change God makes in a person from the inside out. This isn’t something that we do – it’s something God does in us. I’m not sure if that’s what Wilbon means.

I pray that Vick WILL have a legitimate “born-again” experience. I haven’t followed his career; I know nothing about him except what I’ve read in recent weeks. From that, it sure seems he needs to be born again. If he simply pretends the experience, then I think he’s doing something much worse than animal cruelty. If he spends the rest of his life pretending, then he HAS blasphemed against the Holy Spirit.

In the meantime, we Christians should pray for him. We should also forgive him. But forgiveness doesn’t mean sin’s consequences aren’t felt during this life. Forgiven Christians still face the consequences of their sins in this age (earthly life), but they are spared the consequences in the next age (eternal life).

Remember that the next time you’re ready to condemn. Remember that the next time you’re the one who crossed the line. Michael Vick doesn’t make me sick – just sad.