How Long Since You Last Saw A Rainbow?

First published in The Daily Sentinel on Friday, May 23, 2008.

I read two books recently on very different subjects, but something this week made me see a connection between them. The first book was “Unchristian” by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. The premise of the book is based on research among younger people, aged 16-29, who do not claim Christianity as their religion. What do they think about Christianity and the people who claim to be Christian? Well, here’s how one respondent put it:

“Christianity has become bloated with blind followers who would rather repeat slogans than actually feel true compassion and care. Christianity has become marketed and streamlined into a juggernaut of fearmongering that has lost its own heart.”

Ouch!

The second book that I read this week is “Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White” by Adam Hamilton. He’s a United Methodist pastor in the Kansas City area who started a church 18 years ago with just a handful of people. Now, it has more than 8000 members and draws over 10,000 to worship every weekend. His latest book is about how people need to somehow move beyond a world of black-and-white thinking. We need to be more than Democrat or Republican, pro-life or pro-choice, pro-homosexuality or anti-homosexual, social gospel or personal gospel, etc. Instead, we need to discover the radical center that transcends the extremes. He wants us to see the shades of gray that stand in between the blacks and whites of our thoughts and feelings.

What brings these two ideas together for me is a tragedy that happened this week – a tragedy that has devastated me personally and pastorally. A woman who had been faithfully attending my church committed acts of extreme desperation. She gave up on life, and took another’s life along with her own.

“Jenny” (which is not her real name) was in her early 60s, and her mother (who was dealing with Alzheimer’s) would have been 100 this October. Jenny had just lost her boyfriend (he was also in his late 60s) to a heart aneurysm last week. His funeral was last Sunday, and I spoke to Jenny then. I knew she was going through a lot of grief, but did not know the degree of her pain. She was an incredibly private woman – and so I never got her full story.

And now I never will.

Jenny had been a part of the church ever since moving here from Florida six or seven years ago, and neither I nor anyone else who knew her saw this coming. I don’t know why she decided life was no longer worth living. I do think that Jenny took her mother’s life because she was her mother’s only caregiver, and she did not want her mother to “suffer” after Jenny was gone. It was desperate love that could only see black-and-white choices.

So now I am faced with a terrible guilty feeling. I think I am not alone. All who knew and loved Jenny are now saying the same things to themselves: What could I have done to prevent this tragedy? What if I had gone out to see her during the last couple of days before she killed herself? If only I could have penetrated her wall of privacy, I might have been able to give her the hope she needed. If only, if only….

But that’s another form of black-and-white thinking. It assumes an either-or outcome: If somehow I or someone else had done something differently, then Jenny and her mother would still be with us right now. But I am not certain it would have made a difference. Anything done in the last 48-to-60 hours of her life probably would not have changed Jenny’s behavior. Instead, she needed different behaviors from the last four-or-five years.

That brings me back to the “Unchristian” book. Young people aren’t the only ones with a suspicion of Christianity. People of all ages have experienced the unchristian acts and attitudes of Christians. Too often, we are considered judgmental, uncaring, hypocritical, and too political – because we are! The sad truth is that ALL of us are tainted with self-centeredness, with busyness, and with misplaced priorities. But Christians are supposed to be different than the rest of the world. We are supposed to have our priorities in line with God’s priorities, to love our neighbors unconditionally, to make sure our neighbors know how much they are loved, and risk opening ourselves up to experience their love in return!

Jenny’s tragedy should be a wake-up call to all Christians – not just those in my congregation – that we cannot wait to demonstrate the giving and receiving the love of Jesus Christ!!

The story of Noah is another tragedy. In Genesis 6, we find a broken-hearted God: “The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. So the LORD said, “I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them.”

This is the same creation that just five chapters earlier, God had called “good.” And yet, humanity had fallen to the point that God was grieved for his creation. It was a black-and-white decision. Yet, God didn’t limit himself to the either-or-choice of keep creation/destroy creation. He found another way:

“But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD. Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God. So God said to Noah, ‘I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. So make yourself an ark … I will establish my covenant with you.’”

That covenant was to re-establish the earth, to bring new goodness out of the evil. And God sealed the covenant with something WAY beyond black-and-white thinking, or even shades of gray. He sealed it with a rainbow!

O God, help me and those who loved Jenny find the rainbow in her tragedy! And may that change our behaviors so that we do not create the conditions for another Jenny to get trapped in black-and-white thinking and forget to see the rainbow of your unconditional love!

Something for Everybody

First published in The Daily Sentinel, Friday, May 16, 2008

(note: I've somewhat anonymized this from its original publishing because of the less secure nature of the internet. Anyone who would like more details may contact me through the comments feature.)

I went to fill up the car the other day. The cost of gasoline has now reached mind-boggling proportions – and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight! I most often tool around the area in a 1993 Toyota Celica. I bought it from my father-in-law almost 4 years ago after he bought it new. I used to think it did OK in the gas-mileage department, but at $4 per gallon, I’m not so sure anymore. I never dreamed I would pay over $40 to fill up that car’s little gas tank – I shudder to think what pick-ups and SUVs cost to fill up these days!

I’ve seen more stickers lately on the pumps describing the dollar limits placed on pay-at-the-pump transactions by Mastercard and Visa. I think Visa limits are $50 and Mastercard’s are $75. Those limits were probably set somewhere back in the “good old days” of under-$2 gas. (Was that really as recently as two or three years ago?) Now, some people actually have to “fill up” in two transactions in order to really fill up their cars. Ouch!

Gas isn’t the only thing that costs more these days. This week, the cost of postage went up, too. I sure wish I’d bought more of those “forever” stamps at the old rate when I had the chance. Milk prices have been in a pretty close race with gas prices on a per-gallon basis. Orange juice has shot through the roof. Even the cost to make money isn’t the same. Did you see that Congress is considering making pennies and nickels out of steel instead of zinc?

Living is certainly more expensive. All of us are trying to figure out how to stretch those dollars farther. That’s why I’m excited about the new store that opened up recently in my town. It’s called the “Equal Opportunity Store” and it’s run by the Southern Equal Opportunity Mission (SEOM). The SEOM is made up of area churches around town. The Equal Opportunity Store is located on 3^rd Street just down from the US Post Office, Home National Bank, and the Kountry Kitchen restaurant. Folks who’ve been around long enough will recognize it’s location as the old Post Office building. It’s open 10-2 Monday thru Saturday, plus evening hours (5-7:30) on Tuesday and Thursday.

Equal Opportunity is named that way because it’s designed to be a store for everybody. It is not a store just for “those people” but for all of us. The Equal Opportunity Store is trying to fulfill a mission of providing clothing and basic grocery items at 1980s pricing. And everybody can take advantage of the opportunity to save!

Two pastors are the primary drivers of the ministry. And they rely on volunteers from their churches plus the other churches in the area (I’m proud to include my church in that list) to make it work. But they need more help!

What kind of help, you ask? I’m so glad you asked that question! They need help with donations – good, quality clothing and even old clothing that is good only for rags. They’re making lots of rags. Several area businesses are now buying rags from the store, and so the store needs all the rag-making material it can get! They also can use donations of non-perishable foods, small appliances and household items. Eventually, they hope to expand the store to include major appliances – but that’s still a ways down the road.

They can always use volunteers to staff the store. You could volunteer once-a-week, once-a-month, or whenever it can fit into your schedule. They need sorters, rag-makers, and stockers, just to name a few duties.

But most of all, they need a steady stream of customers! And you owe it to yourself to check out their selection. I would expect you’ll find a bargain or two that will help you stretch that paycheck, pension check or even IRS rebate check much farther than you thought possible! And you should stop by often because there’s always something new.

So besides the stores’ economic mission, why does this place exist? Is there a more fundamental reason for it to be here? Perhaps a Biblical reason? How about Luke 4:14-21:

Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him. He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written: "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, and to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

The Equal Opportunity Store is continuing the work of Jesus to bring good news, to proclaim freedom, recovery, and release for all. Compared to the riches of God, all of us are poor. All are held captive by the general economy, blinded by materialism and greed, and in need of release from the oppression of an uneven distribution system.

I believe being a Christian as about being in right relationship with God through Jesus Christ, to confess both my personal sins and my participation in society’s sinful practices, and to proclaim Jesus as my Lord and Savior. But I also think that right relationship extends into how I live right in the sour here-and-now as much as in the sweet-by-and-by.

The Equal Opportunity Store is one example of how we can do that – to love our neighbors as we love God. Why not join me in supporting this new, vital, and gospel-spreading ministry?

A Loving Marriage Made More Difficult

First published in The Daily Sentinel, Friday, May 9, 2008.

I learned something new this week. I learn many new things every week, but this week’s lesson strikes me as particularly compelling. And I’m curious how others feel about it.

Mildred Jeter Loving died last Friday. Obituaries were printed in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Washington Post, and several other major media. Obviously, she was a pretty important person to get stories in all those newspapers, but I had never heard of her.

If I say Martin Luther King, Jr. or Rosa Parks, you will probably think of Civil Rights pioneers. But Mildred Loving – who never intended to be a civil rights activity – disappeared into the dustbins of history until a few people remembered her after her death. What was the civil right for which Mildred fought? The right to marry the man she chose – even if that man was of a different race than herself.

Mildred Jeter and Richard Loving were married in 1958. She was 18; he was 23. But Virginia law did not recognize their marriage because he was white and she was black. The prohibition against mixed marriages had existed in various forms since 1691. So a few weeks after the Lovings were married, they were awakened at 2 a.m. by the county sheriff and his deputies surrounding their bed and arrested for unlawful cohabitation. Their Washington, DC-issued marriage license was not recognized as valid by Virginian authorities.

Under a plea bargain, the Lovings were released from jail and told not to return to Virginia together. They moved back to Washington, but were never happy there. In 1963, Mildred wrote a letter to Robert F. Kennedy, then the U.S. Attorney General, asking for assistance. She was referred to the American Civil Liberties Association, who reviewed the case and decided to take it. On June 12, 1967, the US Supreme Court, in Loving vs. the Commonwealth of Virginia, unanimously struck down Virginia’s law as a violation of the 14^th Amendment to the United States Constitution. Miscegenation – the mixing of whites with other races – could no longer be banned by any state.

Not only had I never heard of Mildred Loving, I had never heard of the word “miscegenation” before, either. And I think of myself as having a large vocabulary! What makes this history and language lesson so compelling for me is that I wonder whether or not I am unique in needing such a lesson.

It has been a long time since I felt like a youngster. Being in the midst of my 4th decade probably has a lot to do with that. Back in the 1960s, I was not thinking about marriage; I cared more about toys, snacks and avoiding afternoon naps!

But today, marriage is extremely important to me, and so is equality. I work very hard at being unbiased by skin color, national origin, age and gender. While inter-racial marriages are not very common, I have known several couples of mixed race. Nothing about their marriages bothered me. In the back of my mind, I probably knew there was a time when that might not have been legal, but I never gave that a second thought.

One of the mixed-race couples that I know just got married a few years ago. He was a fellow student with me in seminary. She was already a clergyperson in Ohio. He’s black; she’s white. Both are incredibly intelligent, articulate, compassionate, and spiritual people.

I once told him that I saw him primarily as a man of God, not as a man of color. From my perspective, his skin could have been chartreuse, and I wouldn’t care. And yet, it was important to him for me to recognize that he IS African-American. He didn’t want me to be color-blind, but color-aware. Our racial heritages are important and should be considered; but they should never be defining.

The Apostle Paul wrote about how those who are Christians should particularly be aware that in God’s eyes, there are no longer defining differences among us: “You are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:26-28).

So in an area of Ohio that is greater than 90% white, how do we see people whose skin color is different than our own? Do we acknowledge these differences, honor them, but not limit ourselves by them? Is it possible to create a world where vocabulary lessons on miscegenation are no longer necessary? Or do we need to retain the lesson so that we can know how far we’ve come in creating a land free of racial prejudice?

What Inspires You?

First published in The Daily Sentinel, Friday, May 2, 2008

First, I want to thank all those who expressed concern for my cat after last week’s column. He’s doing much better now, and is expected to make a complete recovery!

His fight for life got me thinking about us when we face dire situations. Why do some people get sick and die while others get sick and then live? And I don’t mean that they recover from their illness; I’m talking about those people who truly find inspiration within their sickness so that they live life to the fullest for the rest of their lives – whether that’s a year or 50 years.

My mother, Sharon, was one of those “live-er’s” in the midst of illness. During the fall of my junior year in high school, she discovered a lump in one of her breasts. She went to the doctor to diagnose it. The bad news was that the lump was malignant.

Mom opted to undergo a double radical mastectomy, removing breast tissue and lymph nodes from both sides of her body. She then had to go through extensive rounds of chemotherapy to try killing any stray cancer cells that had passed into her blood stream or lymphatic system and found their way to other organs.

I’ve observed that there are many, many people in our area that face cancer. So most of us have either faced cancer directly or known a close family member or friend that had it. The physical havoc of chemotherapy is nothing new to us. But back in the early 1980s, I did not understand the “philosophy” of chemotherapy, which is to kill ALL the fast-growing cells in the body in order to eliminate the fast-growing cancer cells. Translating that philosophy from the cellular world into the human world, its akin to nuking New York City’s 11 million residents in order to get rid of the New York mafia. Barbaric.

I watched my mother go through the wrenching changes of chemo – weight loss and gain, hair loss, physical exhaustion, nausea, and more. She had always wanted to be a “granny;” the relationship she had enjoyed with her own grandmother was especially dear to her. She wanted to have the opportunity to develop that kind of relationship with her own grandchildren. But cancer at age 36 put that future into doubt.

Many people facing what my mother did would give up, cry out in despair, and turn against God and the world around them. But not her. She took the process of dying and used it to learn how to LIVE. People would come to visit her in order to encourage her only to find themselves encouraged by their time together with her. Even the doctors and nurses – the people who are trained to be dispassionate and aloof – were drawn to the magnetism of her love and compassion.

In the spring of my junior year, she was interviewed by the local newspaper. The reporter asked Mom how she could be so optimistic under such pessimistic circumstances. “In spite of losing my breasts and going through the chemotherapy, I’ve learned so much – people are so good to me. It’s unreal,” she said. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”

The article continued:

Each woman faced with losing a breast to cancer reacts in a different way. Wood found an amazing sense of peace through her faith in God. “The peace of mind that I had was the special gift he gave me,” she said. “I’m sure there is a lot of fear when this happens. I want to raise my children, be a grandmother, and live a long life. But I can’t add another moment to my life. I’m trusting God. I really believe my physician and my psychologist are God. I cling to a Bible verse – Romans 8:28: ‘All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.’”

Mom’s inspiration came directly from God. And that inspiration filled her with anticipation of what great things God was going to do. However, I didn’t see things the same way – especially after Mom died just before Thanksgiving during my senior year in high school. Her life from diagnosis to death was only 14 months. And I was left with an incredibly bitter taste in my mouth. I was mad at Mom, mad at Dad, and especially mad at God!

When I saw the ways my mom encouraged other people, I had envisioned her embarking on a nationwide ministry offering hope to other women facing cancer. I could see the Holy Spirit filling her and bringing her into such an incredible place to reach others with God’s love. But that plan was shattered by the reality of death.

Much later, I received an answer to my dilemma. “Why God?” I asked. “What happened to the plan? Why didn’t you do that?” And God responded: “That wasn’t my plan, that was YOUR plan. Trust me; know that the plans I have for you are for the good.”

A few months after that prayer, I read a verse in the Old Testament book of Jeremiah for the very first time: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am inspired by that verse even more today. It gives me the strength to hang on and move ahead – even (especially!) when things don’t turn out the way I expect. Unforeseen events and circumstances happen all the time. And we have a choice in how we respond to them.

My kitty rallied from the point of death and destruction and so did my mom. Now, I realize that HER ministry has not stopped – it’s been passed on. The message of hope that my mother lived and breathed until the day she died did not die with her. God gave her ultimate healing, and gave her hope to me. And now, by the grace of God, I have given that same inspiration to you.

What inspires you? What pushes you to persevere, to seek to better yourself and the world around you, to become the fullest expression of the potentials God has given to you? If you are inspired by your youthfulness, you will soon grow old. If you’re inspired by accolades at work, they quickly fade away. If you are inspired by the latest and greatest car, bigger house, fancier clothes, they will all eventually break down or become worn.

There is only one enduring inspiration – the eternal love and faithfulness of God.

Why not give complete coverage?

I am amazed at how far technology has come in the four years since the last United Methodist General Conference. I went as an observer to the 2004 GC in Pittsburgh, and I really wanted to go to Fort Worth for GC 2008, which was held this past week. But finances and ministry commitments at home would not allow for that.

Then, as I poked around the umc.com website, I discovered that this time, all GC plenary sessions would be streamed live over the internet! I tuned in as often as I could, and it was almost as good as being there. I could witness the worship, the special celebrations, and the plenary debates from the comfort of my laptop PC!

But something strange happened on Thursday morning, May 1st. During the session, I suddenly lost my streaming audio and video. The presiding bishop was just about to say something about the conference's action the previous day - and suddenly he was no longer on my computer. I got an animated message telling me that the presentation would continue in a moment.

20 minutes later, the streaming resumed. It appeared that they had just come back together after a break. A delegate stood up to ask the bishop a question, was recognized by the bishop, and he asked about the internet streaming interruption. The bishop's answer frustrated me. He said something like "we were on a break, and they don't broadcast during a break."

I said to the bishop's image on my computer, "You weren't on break the WHOLE time! How come you didn't say something about asking the technicians if there was a problem?"

Tonight, reading the post-conference coverage on umc.com, it finally came together for me: the streaming broadcast was interrupted on purpose - to avoid showing the protest led by the Reconciling Ministries Network against General Conference for its votes to retain the language prohibiting practicing homosexuals from becoming pastors and for stating in the Social Principles that "the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching."

So now my question to the GC is this: why not give us complete coverage!? Since the stream was interrupted at that specific time, it must have been an organized and deliberate effort to not show us that! This was planned in advance, and I am disappointed by the planning.

Now that we have this amazing technology that lets us see what's happening at General Conerence, we should see everything that happens during the GC sessions.

The way in which this unfolded disturbs me. The bishop declares that they are no longer in session so that no rules are violated as the non-delegates sweep into the room. The video stream is interrupted so that we at home don't know what the bishop has done, nor that the GC's spending about $18,300 in lost plenary session time in order to allow the demonstration to happen. (I get that figure by dividing the total budget for GC by the number of minutes for plenary sessions).

I understand that the votes upholding the traditional positions on homosexuality are deeply and painfully felt by those who disagree. I have been present when their feelings have been expressed, and I have been moved by the poignant stories shared by those who desire inclusivity on this matter. But I do not think that these types of demonstrations, nor the removal of virtual observers via the streaming broadcast, help their cause.

And quite honestly, I wonder how much longer we can allow this division to continue and still claim to be one church. The true fact is that we don't act like one church when it comes to this one issue. This debate has raged for almost my entire life! And the position of the church has not officially changed in the whole time. Demonstrations and protests every four years will not change the church. I am not sure that the UMC will ever change.

If the UMC does change, the conservatives will not borrow from the liberals' play book. They will not wait for 40 or more years to get the church to change again, they will break away as soon as the change happens.

I wonder if that activity will be streamed live on the internet?