What Inspires You?

First published in The Daily Sentinel, Friday, May 2, 2008

First, I want to thank all those who expressed concern for my cat after last week’s column. He’s doing much better now, and is expected to make a complete recovery!

His fight for life got me thinking about us when we face dire situations. Why do some people get sick and die while others get sick and then live? And I don’t mean that they recover from their illness; I’m talking about those people who truly find inspiration within their sickness so that they live life to the fullest for the rest of their lives – whether that’s a year or 50 years.

My mother, Sharon, was one of those “live-er’s” in the midst of illness. During the fall of my junior year in high school, she discovered a lump in one of her breasts. She went to the doctor to diagnose it. The bad news was that the lump was malignant.

Mom opted to undergo a double radical mastectomy, removing breast tissue and lymph nodes from both sides of her body. She then had to go through extensive rounds of chemotherapy to try killing any stray cancer cells that had passed into her blood stream or lymphatic system and found their way to other organs.

I’ve observed that there are many, many people in our area that face cancer. So most of us have either faced cancer directly or known a close family member or friend that had it. The physical havoc of chemotherapy is nothing new to us. But back in the early 1980s, I did not understand the “philosophy” of chemotherapy, which is to kill ALL the fast-growing cells in the body in order to eliminate the fast-growing cancer cells. Translating that philosophy from the cellular world into the human world, its akin to nuking New York City’s 11 million residents in order to get rid of the New York mafia. Barbaric.

I watched my mother go through the wrenching changes of chemo – weight loss and gain, hair loss, physical exhaustion, nausea, and more. She had always wanted to be a “granny;” the relationship she had enjoyed with her own grandmother was especially dear to her. She wanted to have the opportunity to develop that kind of relationship with her own grandchildren. But cancer at age 36 put that future into doubt.

Many people facing what my mother did would give up, cry out in despair, and turn against God and the world around them. But not her. She took the process of dying and used it to learn how to LIVE. People would come to visit her in order to encourage her only to find themselves encouraged by their time together with her. Even the doctors and nurses – the people who are trained to be dispassionate and aloof – were drawn to the magnetism of her love and compassion.

In the spring of my junior year, she was interviewed by the local newspaper. The reporter asked Mom how she could be so optimistic under such pessimistic circumstances. “In spite of losing my breasts and going through the chemotherapy, I’ve learned so much – people are so good to me. It’s unreal,” she said. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”

The article continued:

Each woman faced with losing a breast to cancer reacts in a different way. Wood found an amazing sense of peace through her faith in God. “The peace of mind that I had was the special gift he gave me,” she said. “I’m sure there is a lot of fear when this happens. I want to raise my children, be a grandmother, and live a long life. But I can’t add another moment to my life. I’m trusting God. I really believe my physician and my psychologist are God. I cling to a Bible verse – Romans 8:28: ‘All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.’”

Mom’s inspiration came directly from God. And that inspiration filled her with anticipation of what great things God was going to do. However, I didn’t see things the same way – especially after Mom died just before Thanksgiving during my senior year in high school. Her life from diagnosis to death was only 14 months. And I was left with an incredibly bitter taste in my mouth. I was mad at Mom, mad at Dad, and especially mad at God!

When I saw the ways my mom encouraged other people, I had envisioned her embarking on a nationwide ministry offering hope to other women facing cancer. I could see the Holy Spirit filling her and bringing her into such an incredible place to reach others with God’s love. But that plan was shattered by the reality of death.

Much later, I received an answer to my dilemma. “Why God?” I asked. “What happened to the plan? Why didn’t you do that?” And God responded: “That wasn’t my plan, that was YOUR plan. Trust me; know that the plans I have for you are for the good.”

A few months after that prayer, I read a verse in the Old Testament book of Jeremiah for the very first time: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am inspired by that verse even more today. It gives me the strength to hang on and move ahead – even (especially!) when things don’t turn out the way I expect. Unforeseen events and circumstances happen all the time. And we have a choice in how we respond to them.

My kitty rallied from the point of death and destruction and so did my mom. Now, I realize that HER ministry has not stopped – it’s been passed on. The message of hope that my mother lived and breathed until the day she died did not die with her. God gave her ultimate healing, and gave her hope to me. And now, by the grace of God, I have given that same inspiration to you.

What inspires you? What pushes you to persevere, to seek to better yourself and the world around you, to become the fullest expression of the potentials God has given to you? If you are inspired by your youthfulness, you will soon grow old. If you’re inspired by accolades at work, they quickly fade away. If you are inspired by the latest and greatest car, bigger house, fancier clothes, they will all eventually break down or become worn.

There is only one enduring inspiration – the eternal love and faithfulness of God.