Bridging the Gap

First published in The Daily Sentinel, Friday, Aug. 3, 2007

Last week my four-year-old niece, Cassandra, came to visit us for the week. It was my most intense experience with a preschooler in over a decade. How quickly we forget the way things were “back then!”

For example, I’d forgotten about the importance of the bedtime rituals. My youngest daughter (now a teenager) occasionally still comes to me for goodnight hugs and kisses, but otherwise it’s each one to his or her own. I don’t even define when its bedtime anymore. Cassandra, however, has an elaborate ritual with a series of steps that must be followed in exact order at the appropriate time. Otherwise, she will not relax and go to sleep.

The first night was pretty easy. Cassandra still had the excitement of coming to visit us. The second night, all the newness had worn off and she fully realized Mommy and Daddy were not around. Homesickness set in, and I experienced a four-year-old’s expression of angst. It wasn’t very pretty.

We also had to dig out all the old Disney movies on VHS tapes that hadn’t been watched in ages. Otherwise, our house had very little in the way of easy entertainment options.

“Remember when we had so many toys that we had to convert the dining room into a playroom?” I asked my wife. “What happened to them?”

“They’re long gone dear – all except a few keepsake toys packed away in plastic buckets in the basement.”

That’s when it struck me. I’ve been “gapped” by the progress of time; I am no longer the parent of young children. Without my realizing it, a whole generation is already coming up behind me. And I’m not particularly well equipped to handle them.

I wonder if that happened to Jesus. The gospel of Luke tells us about the time people were bringing their children to Jesus, just so he could touch them. “When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.’” (Luke 18:15-16)

The disciples seemed ill equipped to handle the kids. Probably some of them were crying. I would guess a few of the infants and toddlers had soiled bottoms and didn’t smell very good (after all, there were no Pampers back then). As travelers, the disciples certainly didn’t have a lot of toys on hand to keep the children entertained. So it was easier to get rid of the problem by dismissing them, driving the children away.

But that’s not how Jesus wanted the children treated. He called for them, gathered them into his arms and loved them, stinky bottoms and all.

Are we embracing children in our churches today? I am blessed to have several families with young children in my church. Yes, they sometimes cry in the middle of my sermon. But that’s OK by me. I like to think of them as just breaking a little more of the kingdom of heaven into the room.

Unfortunately, we have all heard horror stories about the unwelcome environments some churches have created towards children. Sometimes it’s a subconscious thing. We just get so used to doing things our way that we forget there are other ways that might possibly be even better.

After the second night with Cassandra, bedtime went very well. I’m eternally grateful to my two daughters who took on a lot of the bedtime management tasks. My youngest daughter, in particular, seemed to enjoy being the “big sis” for once.

By the end of the week, Cassandra had adjusted to us, and we had adjusted to her. We each learned things about ourselves and one another during the week. Cassandra discovered she could be a little more independent, that she could read a letter from her parents all by herself, and that she really could eat corn directly from the cob!

I learned a valuable lesson in hospitality. I discovered some of the little ways that I can make others feel welcome even when I don’t have the ideal environment for them. I also learned how much my own habits can get in the way of hospitality.

“Let the children come,” said Jesus. And you are God’s child no matter how old or young you are. Jesus Christ bridged the gap between you and God. This weekend, go to the church of your choice and both welcome the children and experience being welcomed as a child of God.

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Interesting article from another person dealing with this issue: http://worshipconnection.cokesbury.com/content.aspx?dyn=1367