Shocking Language Requires Shocking Love

Originally published in The Daily Sentinel, Friday July 13, 2007

Some people are into shocking others. Think Howard Stern. Paris Hilton. Madonna. The more flamboyant something is, the more those types of people like it. But not every “shock jock” is a famous personality. Some are right here with us in southeastern Ohio.

I got a big shock last weekend. Our church hosted the funeral for John Holsinger. The funeral home across the street from the church didn’t have enough room in its chapel, so we allowed them to use our larger space. And we needed all that room and more! People were packed into the pews, stood along both side aisles from front to back, and they were even three-deep along the back of the sanctuary. I have never seen the church so full!

I didn’t know John well. We met last fall at a Southern High School football game; I must admit I was somewhat leery of him. John and I looked nothing alike – and our backgrounds were totally dissimilar. John was a tattoo artist and a huge Harley-Davidson motorcycle fan. I’m a preacher who wishes he had a new Honda Accord. He was into music that I sometimes didn’t even experience as music. But as we talked, I discovered that we had something in common that transcended the shocking contrasts between us: our desire to follow Jesus and be more like him.

The crowd who came to John’s funeral included a large number of bikers. Many of them are members of the Christian Motorcycle Riders Club. They love their Harleys, leathers, piercings, tattoos, wild hair, etc. – and Jesus Christ most of all.

There were some other bikers in the crowd. And one young man caught my attention – and not because his hair, tattoos or piercings were more outrageous than others. It was his t-shirt. Written in huge letters across the front was this message: “I’m not Mr. Right, but I’ll [_____] you until he comes along.”

I cannot repeat the message more explicitly. It used language that is not fit to print in this family newspaper, and it’s a word that I do not use at all. So why was this young man wearing such a shirt, and why was he wearing it IN CHURCH???

My first reaction was shock – possibly the reaction the man wanted. My second reaction was to be offended. How dare he wear that shirt into my sanctuary!!! Then my third reaction (coming several days later) was more compassionate. Perhaps the young man in question has never lived in an environment where such language is considered rude. After all, it is a word increasingly heard in all types of public places – schools, shopping centers, concerts, at the county fair, etc. It is often used in movies, and in family rooms thanks to premium channels on cable and satellite TV. Maybe in this man’s house, such language is common and accepted.

But even if he comes from such an environment, wearing that shirt into a church is still rude. But what should I do with his rudeness? That is the vital question!! Most of the time, we respond in the same manner – rudeness for rudeness. But I don’t think that’s what Jesus would have done. Nor do I think that’s what Jesus would have us to do.

The Apostle Paul gives us some very helpful definitions of what love is and what it is not: “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

I do not know if that young man is a Christian; however, I am a Christian. Therefore, the expectation and God-given ability to live that kind of love is mine – not necessarily his. If I am to take this scripture seriously, I must forgive the man for his rudeness and let it go. I must pray for him and look for the ways we can connect with each other in spite of our differences. I pray that God will use me in some way to reach out to people like this young man and give him loving attention without giving into the shock.

We can stand up for respect, appropriate attire and language. But we must also reach out to those who don’t follow our rules in the ways we want them to follow. I think the really shocking thing is to not turn away the shock jocks, but to embrace them. Give them unconditional love and watch the miracle God has in store for them to unfold.